Is your partner pregnant? Maybe you are feeling shocked and wondering what to do? Perhaps angry, excited, confused or have mixed emotions?
What can you do?
Talk to your partner honestly about how you are feeling and what you think would be the best decision. Men often say “I’ll support you whatever you choose”. This can seem to be a loving thing to say, but leaves your partner feeling the responsibility of making a difficult decision, without knowing how you really feel. Few women want to make a choice without taking into account their partner’s views.
You are both likely to be in shock initially. Although it can feel as if decisions need to be made quickly, make sure that you have all the relevant information to make an informed choice about parenting, adoption or abortion. None of the options are easy and nothing can change everything back to how it was before the pregnancy, but try to find a way forward together.
Keep calm and keep talking, it is often necessary to talk through the situation many times before a decision can be made that you are both going to feel comfortable about.
Your partner may want to make the decision without consulting you. Legally, even if you are married, you cannot make your partner have an abortion, place the baby for adoption or continue with the pregnancy. But try to talk things through rather than pressurising her. It has to be her decision but hopefully can be a choice that you can support her in making.
At Cedaroak we are happy to spend time with either or both of you, thinking about your situation and supporting you to reach a decision.